I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My hand turned me down
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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