Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
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I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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