ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
