I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize