So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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