i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
