Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
