it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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