You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
