i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
