Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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