I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
