they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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