I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
how drunk are you?
Several
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