I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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