One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
