I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
