that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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