do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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