Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
