You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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