I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off