Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
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my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
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The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.