she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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