You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
