i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
