He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
