I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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