i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
