I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize