dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
