Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You can't just leave with hair like that
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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