the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
