I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
