Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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