honey bunches of taint.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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