my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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