shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
