dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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