Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize