mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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