Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
