If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize