I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I am naked and annoyed.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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