Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
