i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize