Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
