the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize