Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
