You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
