ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
