She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
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