did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I cannot find my penis.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't deserve a penis
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
