you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
