I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
