So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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