SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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