Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
