I feel great
I just peed on a car
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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