I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
