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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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