I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
