who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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