just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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