Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
