I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Your penis caused this!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
