Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet