does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!