I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics