what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
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I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
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I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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