Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am one with the molecules
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
