I think i peed on brittanys purse
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night