How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that